Friendship Jokes

A man complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman ...then ... pow! ... it was all gone!''What happened?' asked the friend.'Ahhhh ... my wife found out ...'

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Two adventurers John and Jack were hunting for gold in the desert. After roaming all day long under the hot sun, they set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, John woke up his friend.

"Jack, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Jack looked up and replied, "I can see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asked John.

Jack thought for a minute and said.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

After a moment of silence, John spoke.

"It tells two things to me. First is that...you are an idiot."

Jack looked at John, surprised. "Why do you say so?" he said.

"Because it has still not occurred to you that someone has stolen our tent." replied John.

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Bill, Jim & Scott were at a convention together & were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken & they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Bill said to Jim & Scott, 'Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories for the rest of the way.'

At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes & Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing & Scott began to tell sad stories.

'I will tell my saddest story first,' he said. 'I left the room key in the car!!!'

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You Might Be A College Student

If you average 3 hours of sleep a night
If your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn't
If you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week
If you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy
If you wake up 10 minutes before class
If you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row -- without washing them
If your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to class
If your social life consists of a date with the library
If it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room
If you carry less than a dollar on your person
If you haven't done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to class
If you celebrate when you find a quarter
If your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over
If you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itself
If your backpack is giving you Scoliosis
If you get more sleep in class than in your room
If your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen Noodles
If you can sleep through your roommate's blaring stereo
If you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homes
If you get more e-mail than mail.....

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