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Funny Laws of sex

> The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
> Nothing improves with age.
> No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
> Sex has no calories.
> Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
> There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
> Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
> No sex with anyone in the same office.
> Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
> A man in the house is worth two in the street.
> If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
> Virginity can be cured.
> When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
> Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
> The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
> Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
> It is always the wrong time of month.
> The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
> When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
> Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
> Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
> The younger the better.
> The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
> It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
> Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
> Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
> There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
> Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
> Love is a hole in the heart.
> If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
> Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
> Do it only with the best.
> Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
> One good turn gets most of the blankets.
> You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
> Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
> It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
> Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
> Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
> Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
> Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
> A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
> What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
> It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
> Never say no.
> A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
> Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
> Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
> Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
> A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
> Love comes in spurts.
> The world does not revolve on an axis.
> Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
> Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
> Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
> There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
> Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
> Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
> "This won't hurt, I promise."

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